It’s been a bit of a whirlwind since returning from Sedona and Santa Fe almost two weeks ago. It took almost a week just to get my feet planted back on home ground. There is still a pile of laundry awaiting my attention and some travel debris strewn about, but for the most part – aside from the huge piece of my heart that always remains in Sedona – I’m back.

I brought with me a dilemma. As you may or may not have guessed, I have many interests and pursuits. One could say I’m the ultimate Renaissance Woman. The list of all the things I want to do and CAN do with my time is long. And while I know that in “new age” terms time is a non-thing and we have all we need, in my day-to-day walking around reality, time as well as energy and resources can be limited. I realize and must accept that I simply can’t do it all despite a lifelong attempt at doing just that which has resulted in exhaustion and sometimes illness.

What that means is I must make some choices. In a very real way it’s an embarrassment of riches. And in another way, I find myself facing some old programming about not being good enough, fears galore, and allowing myself to be big instead of small. Not as much fun as the riches. I’ve been tentative about stepping fully into parts of myself that have been begging for expression. I’ve given them their moments but not their due. What I brought back from my trip is the knowledge that they are ready to have their day and I cannot deny them any longer. This requires me to be courageous on one hand and discerning on the other. As usual, it’s about balance.

So, the question I am holding is “What to do?”. Given I cannot do it all and do it well, and given that not doing it well is not an option for an overachiever like me, the dilemma remains. I’m taking steps to shake it all out. I’m asking The Universe for help with the shake-out process. I’m letting it be OK that I right now all I have are hints rather than crystal clear answers. Yet I’m absolutely certain that the answers I seek are on their way to finding me. Patience has never been my strong suit, but I’m allowing myself to be patient, and curious. Curiosity is something I’ve invited into my experience consciously. To me curiosity is a quality that is often lost as we get further away from childhood. I’ve had the blessing of a dear friend and colleague who often invites curiosity into our very spirited conversations. Because of my friend Martha I’ve cultivated the ability to be curious even as I feel daunted. Curiosity has become a friend.

I’m excited by the prospects and possibilities that have presented themselves. I’m thrilled that I have been gifted with some incredibly talented, kind, and generous people who are now part of my unfolding, and I am part of theirs. I love the questions and am anticipating the answers coming with ease and clarity. I feel like I’ve received an invitation to attend an amazing party and I’ve decided to RSVP with a resounding “YES”. I’m curious about what happens next.

STRETCH: When faced with a daunting choice or decision, approach it with a youthful sense of curiosity. Wherever possible allow the time and space for the answers you seek to present themselves, and expect them with joyous anticipation.

WEEKLY STRETCH 5-19-17 ~ Re-Entry and What Next

As an avid space travel enthusiast, I associate the term “re-entry” as that dangerous period during which a spacecraft encounters the Earth’s atmosphere and becomes subject to the intense power of gravity. As the spacecraft increases in speed and friction within the dense atmosphere the danger of it burning up before reaching the Earth’s surface increases dramatically. Spacecraft are equipped with heat shields which aid in deflecting the extreme heat but under the best of circumstances, re-entry is a rocky and very hot ride home. It is the precision and skill of the pilot keeping the craft at the correct attitude that prevents a disastrous outcome.

The same can be said of re-entry from a vacation or a conference – or both – which is precisely what I am experiencing as I write. I’m coming down, from a very high place, and it’s a bit of a rocky ride back to Earth. I realize that this pilot left the Earth’s atmosphere with some compromised heat shields which means that re-entry into my personal atmosphere has been turbulent and hot. The spacecraft is somewhat the worse for wear and needs some repair, so to speak.

At the end of our Infinite Possibilities Conferences we “elders” always advise the new trainers that they should be mindful of their re-entry; that they should give themselves space and time, allow for extra rest, eat well, and be gentle with themselves. This is great advice. I admit that I’ve had many opportunities to apply my own advice having spent many years attending annual intensives that required this exact sort of mindful practice in the aftermath. I think I’ve taken for granted that I know what to do and how to do it. Well guess what – not this time, and not under these circumstances. This re-entry has been humbling to say the least.

Without going into the gory details, I will simply say that I am doing my best to navigate some rugged terrain emotionally and physically. Of course, I’m thrilled to be reunited with my family and precious friends, and our sweet fluffy girl Sophie. Coming home has some wonderful rewards. And yet I feel the tug on my heart back to our beloved Sedona and wish bilocation was one of my skills. It’s never easy to leave this place that gives us so much peace and joy.

The conference was a tremendous gift and planted seeds that are germinating in the fertile ground of my heart and mind. The question that keeps turning up is “What next?” and I’m not quite certain how to answer it. That fertile ground I mentioned is ripe with possibilities and for the moment I’m choosing to allow the planted seeds the time and space to sprout and grow. My experience has shown that being pro-active works better for me than being re-active (my customary knee jerk response) so I’m listening to my inner guide that says, “take it slow, give it space, listen and watch”. And then there is my father’s voice, the one that guides my every day and my every move – the one that has kept me and my husband on our path in the face of adversity and uncertainty – the one that says, “just keep going”. So, right now what is next in the immediate is to keep going. I am anticipating my seeds growing and blossoming into something wonderful and I will know it as soon as it breaks ground. For now, I will continue the rough terrain of re-entry until the road smooths out, which I know it soon will. Good things are coming. I welcome them.

STRETCH: In the words of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, “Take it easy, take as it comes.”

I Can Feel My Heart

Photo by Bob Demetrician – Pipe Ceremony Alter – Boynton Canyon

Emotions flying high this week, some for sharing and some, for a variety of reasons, for rumination and reflection. The first two paragraphs of this post were written when we drove into Sedona on our first morning.

Today, the first sight of our beloved Sedona brought a flood of tears and from a deep place of humility and gratitude I felt an urge to drop to my knees in the red dirt and give myself over to the land. The sheer wonder and majesty of it made me feel tiny in its midst. And yet the invitation from the land was to acknowledge the Oneness of Creation that includes all of who I am in body, mind and spirit. And, as Neale deGrasse Tyson says, “I felt BIG”. This return to The Mother brings me comfort and peace. It energizes every element of my Being and reminds me that I am a conduit for that essential life force energy and am ultimately vibrating with it.

Tears flowing freely we are in the presence of the huge mountain that embraced and protected us a few years ago when our life was in free fall and we were in a place of fear and loss. The mountain is known in the world as Sugarloaf. In Sedona it’s called “Thunder Mountain”, but it spoke to me on that trip and identified itself as Grandfather and has been our protector ever since. One day we hope to live alongside or at the foot of this Grandfather mountain, but for now it is sufficient that we come for a visit to offer our love and gratitude for all it has given to us.

I have been flooded with creative energy these last days and this trip is giving me an opportunity to integrate the onslaught of ideas and images that are pressing for expression. I’ve made sacred connections with some extraordinary people who will likely become integral in my life. And I’ve had to look at some existing connections with new eyes. I’m taking this time in Sedona to continue my healing. My body is welcoming the healing waters of Oak Creek, my heart is asking for the gentle embrace of Cathedral Rock and the silence of Buddha Beach, my mind and spirit are hungry for the intrinsic and ancient wisdom in Boynton Canyon. We will go to these places, and more, to meditate and create ceremony and to simply be. Of course we will visit our favorite shops in Jerome and maybe consider another tattoo (“maybe”, a word up for interpretation). More than anything, Bob and I are grateful for the opportunity to be together to strengthen our own connection and celebrate the return to our wonderful life, in health and joy. We will place you all in our pipe as we pray for the health of our country and our planet.

Friday: Driving up to a high point (6,200 feet) through magnificent canyons and crazy switchbacks, Bob said, “When I get this close to the rock formations I feel a heart connection like when you plug your charger into your phone and your phone vibrates…mmmm….mmmm…and you know the power is flowing freely.” He told me he can feel his heart. Yes, that’s it. The heart of the planet is palpable and I feel it too. My wish for you is that you can feel your heart, in whatever way that happens for you.

STRETCH: No stretch from me this week. Instead I invite you to create a stretch of your own. If you are so moved, feel free to send me a message in the comments section with the stretch you have created. I will be honored to hold space for you.

More to come. ~FD

Weekly Stretch – 5-6-17 ~ On Practicing Awe

Photo taken somewhere between Newark and Santa Fe.

Note: This entry was written on Wednesday, May 3.

I write this post from 33,000 feet flying over some part of this magnificent land on our way to Santa Fe. I love sitting in the window seat, in spite of the inconvenience of climbing over people when I need to head to the head. Surprisingly I have issues with heights but I love looking out the window of an airplane and seeing the majesty of Creation from a different vantage point than my walking around daily view.

I use the word “awesome” frequently. It’s become part of the vernacular in our culture and it has crept into my language enough that I sense it may have lost its meaning. Today I am looking deeply at the word “awe”. The period between the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are called “the days of awe”. During this time people are focusing their attention on offering and asking for forgiveness and standing humbly amidst God’s miracles. I have been reflecting on miracles lately and as I look out the window today at the Earth below with its meandering waterways, endless blue sky and cottonball puffs of clouds, awe is the word that repeats in my mind. It’s easy to take so much for granted in our lives.

Until recently I thought I was a fairly conscious person. After all, I’ve spent a good deal of my life studying, meditating, self-discovering, waking up – or so I thought. What is miraculous is that The Universe gave me an opportunity to “think again” and with great humility I am doing just that. I look at my world with new eyes and am consciously asking for the wisdom to approach all of my encounters with an attitude of curiosity and open hearted-ness. I see more and hear more. I feel more and embrace more. I am aware of old patterns and am making it my business to take steps to change them as soon as I notice. Not always easy but worth the effort.

Flying this high over the planet one sees how the terrain changes and shifts. This particular route from New Jersey to the southwest is rich with change. I’ve traveled this route enough times to know when to expect one change or another and each time I’m filled with wonder at the power of Mother Nature. I think this is a great metaphor for how our own terrain shifts, ebbs, flows and even stays the same or can be predicable.

As we move closer to our destination I realize that every day is a day of awe. Just like the majesty of the view out my airplane window, every moment of living is truly awe-some. Just the idea that we have a body that is it’s own Universe is awe-some. Gravity is awe-some. The fact that I am sitting in a huge vehicle with a whole lot of people, flying high in the sky is freakin’ awe-some. I cannot take anything for granted. I can humbly notice it and marvel at its wonder and awe and live my days in gratitude.

STRETCH: Cultivate the practice of awe and notice something truly awe-some every day.