JE REVIENS (I Return) ~ 11-23-17

AUTUMN – pastel on paper by Franne Demetrician, 2017

Hello again. It’s been a long time. My last post was back on September first when I shared that I needed to take a sabbatical from my website and blogging. It turns out that was a wise decision since our life has been a whirlwind and the space was needed. But I missed this connection and felt the tug to return.  I’m not sure yet if this will be a weekly post or if I will simply act on impulse to write, but “I’m back, baby”.

September was indeed a jam-packed month. I attended two reunions, one of which was my fiftieth (really?) high school reunion. It was surreal to say the least. I approached it with some trepidation, as I think many of us would for some obvious and some deeply personal reasons. High school wasn’t my favorite time of life.  I felt awkward, unworthy, and very much “less-than” in those years. I certainly didn’t want to re-live those feelings, but I wanted to see some old friends again – so I went. It was wonderful, and I had the joy of reconnecting with three very dear people who have remained deeply embedded in my heart all these years. That was a gift!

The reunion with our seminary family was also joyful and Bob and I had the great honor of being keynote speakers for the very first of these events. It was a first for us in many ways. For me, I finally hit my stride as a speaker and felt at ease speaking from the podium. Of course, the fact that most of the audience had been one of our students at some time or other helped greatly, but I feel that once and for all I have cracked the code on my relationship with public speaking. Was I nervous? Yes? Was I freaking out nervous? No! I feel liberated from the mind-numbing fear that almost kept me from attending seminary 15 years ago. That’s big.

So much more, and I won’t bore you with details, but life has made all of its usual twists and turns.  A most significant turn for me is that my artwork has now become a major focus of my time an energy. As with most things I have been known to doubt myself (Duh? Really? Never heard of such a thing!) and my artistic ability was high on that list.  But a few years ago, I decided to jump back in and see what I had going, if anything. I was surprised to find that not only did I still have something going, but it was – is good. I’ve had the blessing of being taught by a master, mentored by another master/mirror-sister, and supported by the most generous family and friends anyone could want or need. My work is evolving and growing and the artist in me is emerging as the full-on being that has always been there and kept under wraps.

What I’ve learned and will soon be helping others learn, is that I’ve reached an age that allows me to explore myself more deeply and more fully than ever before.  Things I’ve kept hidden or untapped in are being given their due.  Reaching this time of life is like coming from a slightly overcast day into a bright sunny one. Things that were shaded and cloudy are now brightly illuminated and visible. Many of my fears and apprehensions have fallen by the wayside because – well – they were in my way. And frankly, I just don’t have time to look at them anymore because I have stuff to do! That’s not to say I don’t have fears or apprehensions. I just don’t have time to hang with them for too long. I have decided to move through them so that I can keep doing what I love.

Recently my family lost a giant of a man. He was one of our revered elders, the father of my sister-in-law and someone we all hold very dear in our lives. He was a wisdom keeper, a scholar, a “do-er”, a change-maker, a highly respected man in the community and in the state. He was a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather and a friend. He kept going and doing until his 93 years came to an end. He inspired and will continue to inspire me to do what is mine to do until the fates decide it’s time for me to stop. I thank you, Ernie Reock, for being the gift you’ve always been in my life. I miss you already, but I know you are soaring on the other side with all those you love, watching over us and continuing to inspire. I love you.

More will be revealed in coming posts about what is next for me and what I and my collaborators will be offering others. Take a look at our new website, see what we’re up to and like us on Facebook at InTimate Possibilities – Discovering The Golden Triangle.

So happy to be back again and invite you to share if you are so moved.

STRETCH:  Think about the obstacles holding you back from realizing your deepest desires. Imagine taking steps around one of those obstacles, moving closer to your desire, or even reaching it. Baby steps work.