I had plans. I was going to hang with a dear friend doing something I really wanted to dos; something just for me. I’ve been looking forward to attending this big event, Hay House’s I Can Do It Conference, in Philadelphia, for months. I was looking forward to hearing some of the most inspiring speakers in the world, and I was especially looking forward to seeing our friend Mike Dooley again. I was really excited about this little trip. Notice the past tense. Well, yesterday I got the news that the pneumonia I thought I had dodged two weeks ago decided it wasn’t quite ready to leave town and pitched a tent in my lungs for a longer stay!! And the prescription is a longer course of antibiotics and r e s t. Being s t i l l. Taking it e a s y. Don’t like this plan much since I’ve been there and done that quite recently, albeit apparently not quite enough. So today I’m sulking, and cranky, and want to have a full blown, all-out tap dancing child-like tantrum. I want to kick and shout and break something. OK, I know that sounds like a bit of an over-reaction, but dammit, I’m disappointed and I deserve a tantrum.
All that said (no I didn’t kick anything or beat anything up, or break anything…yet) I know that the message is that I can do nothing else right now but surrender…like it or not (not!). My body has essentially done everything short of dropping a piano on my head to tell me, “Hey I know you had plans, but here’s the deal…change ‘em.” So reluctantly I have surrendered. I canceled my hotel reservation and told my friend I won’t be attending. I’ve stayed in my PJ’s, swallowed gallons of liquid, took my antibiotics and tons of supplements, rested, rested, rested…and accepted my fate. There’s an old Yiddish expression, “Menchen tracht und Got lacht”, which translates to, “People plan and God laughs”. I love cultural colloquialisms. They bring a sense of humor to situations that make us crazy. In the grand scheme of things this is tiny bump in the road and I’m grateful for good doctors, antibiotics and the command to “be still”. And it’s a lesson in surrender, in acceptance of what is, and in humility. It’s also been a great opportunity to pay attention to my inner wisdom which has been telling me for several days that something wasn’t quite right. I’m glad I stopped long enough to listen and take myself to the doctor. Surrender is not giving up. It’s allowing what is to be without the wasted energy of resistance.
So I’ll continue to plan, and hope that when God needs a good laugh she looks elsewhere next time. For now I hope she’s enjoying it and I’m digging deep to laugh with him. Reluctantly I surrender and that has been my stretch this week. Here is yours:
WEEKLY STRETCH: Ask yourself what you are resisting and where you might need to surrender. Allow yourself to reclaim the energy lost when you resist what is.
*P.S. The photo is borrowed from a posting I found on a blog entry about surrender. I spoke with the auther, Lorraine Cohen, and she graciously gave me permission to offer it to you. It’s worth the read: http://lorrainecohen.com/surrender-resistance-futile/